Sometimes I wish I could have enjoyed myself before marriage. I love my partner but is it wrong that I feel like I missed out?

i’m exhausted. i don’t want to ask for help anymore. why is it so hard for my loved ones to see me drowning and still not offer for to step up?!

I never get a break because of no one wanting to watch my special needs daughter (they will watch my other two but nobody will take her) and I feel like I am nearing my breaking point. I just want an hour with my husband without the spawns but I feel like that will never happen so I cry a lot