I use the shower as a place to cry and let it all out.
it's heartbreaking when you can feel yourself getting pushed out of someone's life.
my kids give me more anxiety than anything. it makes it so hard for me to want to be present and engaged with them. the touching, the loud noises, the moods.. i can't hang and i feel so guilty 24/7. motherhood is so hard for me and it breaks my heart.