i know you're not supposed to have favorite kids, but i do. i don't show it, but deep down inside i feel it. i feel horrible about it, but i can't help it as much as i try. does that make me a bad parent?
my kids give me more anxiety than anything. it makes it so hard for me to want to be present and engaged with them. the touching, the loud noises, the moods.. i can't hang and i feel so guilty 24/7. motherhood is so hard for me and it breaks my heart.
I never get a break because of no one wanting to watch my special needs daughter (they will watch my other two but nobody will take her) and I feel like I am nearing my breaking point. I just want an hour with my husband without the spawns but I feel like that will never happen so I cry a lot