I'm fine! I am great! Everything is going well! JUST because they say they are fine doesn't always mean they are fine. REALLY ask them. REALLY actually CARE because if it is passive, they are more likely to just make up an excuse.
"Everything is just fantastic!" We all say these types of things when we are dealing with something and we don't want to talk about it. It is easier to tell people that we are "Fine" versus actually open up and talk about our feelings. Postpartum feelings are so common between both parents that it becomes "normal" and when it becomes normal it tends to take over EVENTUALLY leading to break downs and depression.
You just gave birth or your partner JUST gave birth and everything is so new and crazy. You probably aren't sleeping and you can't remember the last time you showered and you just LOVE your child however you feel lonely and maybe sad too. You miss social interactions and warm food and every time someone comes over to see your baby you feel kind of stuck in the corner, missed. You want to say something and you want to talk about your day and you want to talk about how you feel but you don't want to overwhelm your friends and family with your thoughts and emotions.
I think we are just so used to handling the weight of everything including household chores, working, kids, errands where we just kind of put feelings on the back burner. Then we run into a friend or a friend pops by we just AUTOMATICALLY say "I feel amazing I have never been better" when really we are so down and overwhelmed that we are crying in the shower.
STOP making up excuses when it comes to talking about how you REALLY feel. Stop brushing YOUR feelings off because you feel nervous to open up about what is really bugging you. So you feel sad and overwhelmed and want to pull your hair out. SAY IT. You feel lonely and depressed...SAY IT. Tell the people IN YOUR LIFE "HEY. I NEED YOU AND I WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME. I WANT YOU TO HELP ME" Stop brushing your feelings off because you don't want to "Bother" anyone.
Your feelings are valid. Your emotions are valid. You matter and yes your baby is amazing and sweet and it is great that people want to come see them but let them know how much it would mean to YOU that they came to see YOU.
Stop making up excuses and be true and honest to yourself and allow the people in your life to help you and love you.
covid is ruining my marriage.
i’m ready for this rona crap to be done with. let’s wrap this shit up!!!
It sucks being a single parent of child with a disorder, specifically for me, ODD. I am regretting being a parent. And that is a sucky feeling.