I think that we have always been told "Your family is what is most important and you have to love and accept them no matter what"
YES that is partially true. We love our family for who they are, who they choose to love, who they choose to grow up to be [as long as they are decent people of course] but you know what we don't have to love?
Family who are toxic.
We all have them.
The family members who are complete crap to everyone, bring nothing but toxic negative energy to the relationship and family and do nothing but cause pain to those around them.
I know that I do. And it sucks because those family holiday traditions that everyone has, I don't. I don't have that and at this point in my life it sucks but I am doing what is best for myself and my mental wellbeing. I don't get to call and have a normal phone conversation with a family member because it brought me nothing but heartache and anxiety, and I am okay with that. It took me a long time to get past "family is family no matter what."
I am at a point now where I understand that your true family loves you. Talks to you with kindness. Shows you love and respect. Guides you and cares for you and if you aren't getting that in return, that isn't family.
If the people in your family are doing you more harm than good. You need to make sure you are making the best possible choices for you and your mental well being and if the people in your family are doing nothing but bringing you down, it's time to say good bye.
DO NOT EVER EVER EVER let "Blood" be an excuse on whether you decide to cut family from your life. YOU HAVE to make sure you are well and if you have that toxic person in your life controlling your every emotion, that isn't healthy. You deserve to be healthy. Physically, emotionally and mentally. I have cut so many people from my life that were doing nothing but bringing me pain and sorrow. Who did nothing but emotionally beat me down to the ground and do you know what I did? I got up. I said enough is enough. I cut those people FROM MY LIFE.
Trust me it was NOT easy. It sucked. I took a huge emotional beating from everyone in my family.
Guess what happened?
I am happy. I make my own choices. I know that I AM WORTHY. I know that I am a good person and that I did what was best for myself and my family. I am not emotionally exhausted and drained. I am positive. And I will NEVER look back..I will only look forward because once you cut that garbage from your life that is all you can do, look forward and up.
Never be afraid to make a positive choice in your life especially when it comes to those who are IN YOUR LIFE. You HAVE to remember that you cannot be your best self if you are surrounded by people who constantly bring you down and just because you share the same DNA doesn't mean that you HAVE to have those people in your life! You are worth SO MUCH more than the crap they bring you.
You are worth it. So let go.
I hate how my depression controls my life
I don't love my job but it allows me to spend the majority of my time with my kids, which means the world to me.
I hate when I make plans and then the day finally comes and I have to actually go.