You are about to have a baby and your experience should be about you and you know what you want and you have made this plan of how you would like your birth to go. You understand that things may change and sometimes things are out of your control but you are missing that extra support, that extra cheerleader. You need that person who can make you feel empowered and your partner feel empowered. A person who tells you that you can do it and helps you achieve that goal in the best way possible.
We are called doulas and we are here to help you along the way! We are here to make this experience about YOU. Because this is YOUR birth and YOUR child therefore it should all be about you and what you want out of your experience. We help you during your pregnancy, your labor and your postpartum period if that is what you are wanting. We can help with information, education, physical and emotional support, spousal or partner support or even just BEING PRESENT. We can help you if you are a surrogate, going through surrogacy, adoption, cesarean section, home birth, whatever you need from us. We are here to help you reach your goal of empowerment.
A doula says "YES YOU CAN DO THIS GO KICK ASS AND DON'T LET ANYONE STOP YOU" and If your doula doesn't support you and your choices, then that doula isn't right for you.
We all could use a cheerleader like that. Someone who is on our team and has our back without overstepping. This is about you and your journey and what you want, we are just here to help you achieve those goals. Things DO change. Plans DO change but we are here to mold around those changes. You should never feel like a failure or that you could have done better because in my opinion there is NO wrong way to give birth but you should ALWAYS feel happy about your birth. EVEN if you end up birthing a different way then you had planned at least you had all of the information.
I had cesarean sections with all three children. Each situation was completely different than the other but in the end I always knew that the choice was for the better and that I was completely informed on my choices. As long as YOU feel good about your choices and birth it doesn't matter HOW or WHERE you birthed. We might feel discouraged or even like we let ourselves down but it is important to remember that sometimes things don't really go as planned but the feeling of empowerment and accomplishment out weighs so much negative. There are emergencies and those are unpreventable and sometimes your home birth may change and you have to birth in the hospital and that is OKAY. You can schedule a C section because you want to and THAT is okay as long as you are aware that things can change AND that you did your best, that is a HUGE accomplishment!
A DOULA IS NOT: A replacement, a person to tell you what to do, a doula is NOT a medical provider. A doula does NOT make you feel bad about ANY OF YOUR CHOICES and if they do, get rid of that doula. A doula does NOT tell you what you should and should not do with your body, your child or your choices if they change last minute. This is about you and no matter your choices your doula SHOULD respect that or they just aren't a good match for you. Make sure you feel that connection when looking for someone, that is so important.
The biggest piece of advice that I will forever give to ANY birthing person is to go in feeling empowered and then AFTER I hope that you still FEEL empowered. If you have the right cheerleader it doesn't matter if you have a doula or your partner or your partner AND a doula, still go in feeling supported. Because once you have that support from ANYONE you will feel amazing. Even if you get support from a doula during pregnancy and NOT labor and delivery we are here to help educate, lift you up, listen, do whatever we need to help you and yours feel confident when the time may be. Maybe you just want some help HELPING your partner get ready so THEY can be your doula and support person and that is ok, we can do that!
We are here to HELP you find that sense of empowerment, HELP you find the education and HELP you gain the knowledge you need to better yourself and your birth! That way you will feel like the strong, capable, badass that you are!
feeling defeated today 😕 hate these weird funks... i need friends who are there for me like i am for them.. guess it's just me and my husband till the end. ugggghhh why humans!?!
when the way people treat me confirms that i am as worthless as i feel.
I still look back at when I was younger and think, what would happen if I was a part of the cool crowd? Would I have more/better friends?