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October 09, 2020

To the mama who's not feeling very sexy

I don't know about you but I know that I have not felt like my old self in years. We have children, we do hard things and birth them. We nourish them and we comfort them but when we catch that glimpse of ourselves in the mirror we Instantly pick at ourselves. We are unhappy. We feel upset, ashamed and sometimes not very sexy at all. This can impact how we feel, how we act and how we choose to interact with our partner. When we aren't feeling attractive we tend to pull away, we don't have much self confidence and we tend to feel that our partner can usually find better.



One thing I have learned over the years is our new role as mama has shaped us into NEW women. We feel more empowerment, we feel needed and loved in new ways and we need to understand that even though our bodies have changed, we are still JUST as attractive if not more than ever.




1. LEARN to accept your body. We are WAY too harsh on the way that we look and how our bodies have shaped and moved and stretched to where we are in disbelief sometimes that it is even us. We have stretch marks, possibly more extra weight that we just cannot rid of and we feel extra jiggly in places. OWN IT. ALL OF IT. You carried children and gave them life, your body will CONSTANTLY change it's shape but who you are as a person will always stay. So be kind to yourself. Your mind and your body.



2. Wear whatever you want. This one is the one I really struggle with. I have this mindset that I MUST look a certain way in order to wear whatever I want and that is not the case. WHO PICKS AND CHOOSES how we are supposed to look in order to wear something that makes us feel good, confident and sexy. Society? well screw society because no matter what you wear as long as YOU FEEL good. That is all that matters.



3. Stop relying on what you see on the internet to determine your happiness or level of sexiness'.  You are sexy and attractive you just need to stop relying on the people that you see online to TELL you that you are attractive. One thing that doesn't help is self comparison and looking at all of these fitness mamas. I think it is amazing when people bounce back. It is also amazing if it takes some time. Every body is different, every lifestyle is different and every PERSON is different. So stop comparing.



4. Try something new. A new dance class, new lingere, new clothes in general, a new lipstick. Something out of your comfort zone that might make you feel that little bit of POP of confidence. When I am feeling not so confident I pop on some SUPER red lipstick, instant confidence booster! Find something that helps you EVEN a little bit. You deserve to feel good!



5. Drink more water and take more walks. I am not saying start jogging and running marathons but up your water intake, take a 30 minute walk every day. Something to help your heartrate plus when I do the SLIGHTEST bit of exercising I feel good and confident. 



6. Be kind to yourself. You have birthed babies. No matter how they got her they are still yours and you did a great job. Not only that your children need to see you happy, confident and loving towards yourself especially since they are always watching. You want them to love the way they look and feel and it starts with you, step out of your comfort zone try something new. You are worth it. Stop caring so much about what society calls sexy, because you are sexy. 



7. Get in touch with your sexuality. This is so important because we want to feel attractive, sexual, happy. These are all NORMAL things to want to feel. But if we aren't finding ourselves attractive we aren't wanting to be sexual beings. Step out of your comfort zone and discover what makes you feel sexy and go from there. It doesn't have to be wild and crazy unless you want it to but try a new sexy outfit, have a glass of wine, see how it goes. It is okay to want to feel sexy and attractive, being a parent doesn't determine who you are.



The only person who can determine if you are attractive and sexy is YOU so own your confidence, wear what you want, do what you want, and don't wait on someone else to determine if you look good or not. You can be a size 0 or a size 20, young or old...you are damn gorgeous no matter what. Now go drink some water and buy some red lipstick



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