We all want to be heard. Especially by our partner. We want their love and acceptance and to make sure that our relationship is healthy but sometimes, things change and we change so it is important to get back on track. We can do that by doing little things throughout the day here and there for our partner to make a huge impact on our relationship.
Put your pointing finger down.
Instead of pointing the negative finger praise the positive things that your partner does during the day. Stop blaming and pointing out the things that your partner "Doesn't do" and start mentioning the wonderful positive things that they do. "you never do the dishes! you never clean the house! you never, you never, you never" But what about all of the wonderful things your partner does do? Stop and think about what your partner does and how they contribute in a positive way around your home. "you work so hard during the day, thank you. You always help me with the kids at bed time thank you. Thank you for clearing the table after the dinner". There are a lot of positive things your partner DOES do. Focus on that and put your negative pointing finger down.
Give your partner grace.
We are all a work in progress. Remember that. We aren't perfect so be patient, give grace and remember we are all constantly growing. Remember that your partner is still growing and changing as are you. Do it together but have some more patience with one another.
Laugh with them.
Even on our best days we still can feel down and gloomy. Even when our partner comes home exhausted or frustrated it can take something as simple as laughter to perk them up and remind them of the positive when they come home. Even if you are having rough days try to remember laughter can go a long within the home and in your relationship. One of the best things about my marriage is our ability to laugh at any time. Even when I am grumpy my husband will find some way to make me laugh and that goes a long way.
Focus on things that bring your partner joy.
Sometimes we don't want to do things that we don't enjoy doing. But if it means a lot to our partner by doing something that they enjoy that can go a long way and bring them even more joy that you are doing it together. Who knows, trying something new might spark a new hobby for you to do together.
Give them your full attention when they speak.
Have you ever tried talking to your partner and expressing yourself or to simply talk about your day and they semi pay attention and focus on something else like their phone? It sucks. It makes you feel as if your time isn't valuable to them. So try that. When your partner wants to talk about their day or talk about something important sit near them and focus on their words and their body language. SHOW them by being present that you value them and their time.
We all need encouragement from the ones we love. Lift them up and encourage them to pursue their dreams, to lose weight, to make better choices. DO NOT NAG, encourage. My husband can be hard on himself so I try to lift him up and encourage him by complimenting the great things about him and his positive qualities. When you are in any sort of relationship the ones you love rely on your praise and encouragement.
Don't take charge all the time.
It's okay not to be in control. I have to remind myself of this often that being in control isn't what is most important. Relationships take work and sacrifice and team work.
Remind them that you care.
Making it known to your partner that you care about them is very important even if you are feeling down or working through your own things. Take the time to say that you care about them and take the time to remind them that you care about what they are doing with their lives and careers too. Your support and kindness means everything to them.
Relationships take work. But remind yourself on why you are married and remind yourself why you love that person and work on it.
i can't stop crying. i try so hard but am reminded over and over that i'm not enough and never will be.
my heart hurts. i'm not sure how much more i can take.
i feel so alone.