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December 11, 2019

You can't fix my depression

This couldn't be a more true statement.


Last night I was sitting with a good friend and we were deep in conversation and I said "man this round of postpartum depression is really kicking my butt" then we got into a huge conversation on how we slip into our depression and deal with it on our own and sometimes we forget that the people in our lives are just hanging there waiting for us. THEN when we pop back in we feel like we have to "Apologize" for our depression then said person throws out how they think they can help us. IT is frustrating!


Friends. Family. You have to realize that when we slip. Sure we want your love and support but you have to stop taking it personally. You didn't do anything. If you did something I WILL TELL YOU. My depression is my own battle that I have to work on and get through in my own way. As much as I would like to be like "Oh wow my depression is gone because you reached out today" Sadly, it doesn't work that way. Sometimes when people reach out and it is a constant "What did I do, HAVE YOU TRIED THIS" you are sometimes ADDING to that. YOU CANNOT FIX ME.


Because if we are dealing with our own crap and someone keeps buggin thinking we are ignoring them then we INSTANTLY think "Oh crap. Maybe I need to focus on this person and put my crap on the sidelines" and sometimes that just isn't healthy.


It isn't that you aren't a valued person it is just we are dealing with things. On our own terms. And when we need you we will find you. Please stop taking it personally because you are loved by us just right now we need to work on this alone. 


I have depression. I have postpartum depression and I will probably forever have depression.


I have always been one to kinda pop in and out. I have a huge personality and usually am pretty perky and can hide my depression pretty well. Especially since having it my whole life I have just sort of sadly adapted to it, made it part of who I am. I am a huge advocate for self care and mental health and I also agree that you should deal with your depression how you feel is best for you.


I will log off social media.

Stop talking to my closest friends.

Hide on the couch for a few days.


It is just how I deal.

So when you reach out and we say "I am fine" understand that in that moment maybe we "AREN'T" fine HOWEVER that doesn't mean that we want that added stress of you assuming you did something wrong. It is almost NEVER personal. We are just dealing. It is also really hard when people say "oh just go see someone, start taking something, get out more".


1. I do see someone. 2. I do take something. 3. I get out every day.

I still have depression.
I love you but PLEASE stop assuming you can fix me or that you did something.


I am CONSTANTLY going to be a work in progress but let me figure it out for me and how it works best for me. Now if you have depression please I do advise talking to someone and taking those proper steps to making yourself better but friends and loved ones please stop assuming you can fix the people in your life.


We aren't projects. I get it you love us. Share resources and say "Hey I am here if you need" and let it be.


Take the proper steps to getting better. Reach out to the ones closest to you if you feel safe. Talk to a doctor. Do what you feel is best for you and yours. You do NOT have to keep quiet about your depression I am very vocal. HOWEVER if people are trying to fix you kindly say "hey, I love you and I appreciate you but I am working through this the best way that I know how"


Keep fighting the good mental health fight. I do every day.


You are strong and important and valued. You do not need to be fixed. You do NOT need to apologize for being depressed. Seek help where you feel safe and comfortable.





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