Ah yes. The old tale of stay at home parents and how they have it so easy and great and they pretty much get to do whatever they want and IT IS JUST NOT FAIIRRRRR. You get to be home and do nothing all day.
Okay. Back up. PLEASE and understand something. YES I am home with my kids. ALL. DAY. EVERY. DAY. EVEN DURING THE NIGHT. And do not get me wrong it is a blessing to be able to be home with them and watch them grow day to day but holy crap it is EXHAUSTING and it sucks when people are like "what do they even do all day". A LOT. WE DO A LOT.
It isn't always physical things although that does suck up most of our time, cooking, cleaning, chasing kids, bathing kids, meals, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, errands ect. [PHEW THAT WORE ME OUT JUST TYPING THAT OUT] But it is also very very very mentally exhausting.
For those who have kids in school all day you are still doing SO much at home and by the time the kids get home it is complete CHAOS it is snack time, homework, the house AUTOMATICALLY threw up everywhere...I swear it doesn't matter how many man hours you put into the house that day it doesn't even look like it a lot of the time. Then you have to prep dinner or scramble something together and pretend like you have it all figured out... then you have to bathe the ones you don't trust to bathe alone. Then reading and then you have to manage to make time for EVERY kiddo [I really do mean that with love and kindness it is just HARD] then bed. Then you sit there and you go okay. WELL I was going to do this this and that for myself but I'll just rest my head instead.
The next day the alarm goes off and back at it!
For those who DON'T have kids in school all day [I have two in school and one infant] it feels a thousand times harder because instead of shipping the kids to the school all day and having two free hands to clean you have barely one free hand and have to take a hundred breaks making something as simple as mopping a task that takes half the day.
Now. When I say mentally exhausting [just kinda read that again] your brain feels nice and mushy and when you run into a real grownup during the day you have no idea what to say because you aren't really even there anymore!! It's "PAW PATROL. DOO DOO DOO MOMMY SHARK" then you smile like a creep because you are in your happy place. Then you stumble home and clean the bathroom again or whatever needs picked up.
So when you stop and try to understand what your friend is doing all day first off. STOP trying to understand because nobody is questioning you....SAY HEY DO YOU WANT TO GRAB A COFFEE. Or maybe offer to bring your friend a coffee or maybe ask if you can watch the baby for an hour while they take a shower in peace. Or maybe just ask if they want company because it is SO exhausting and it doesn't matter how many times you explain to someone what you "DO ALL DAY" they will never understand because they don't see it every day.
BUT GUESS WHAT. I do. I see it. When you post photos of your family laughing and playing, you at the park with your kids laughing, you all watching a movie or doing a craft. I see it. I see an exhausted parent who is busting their butt at home ALL DAY with their kids putting THEIR SANITY ON THE BACK BURNER.
I see you. I see you kicking ass on the house, chores, dinner and making sure your kids are taken care of during the day while your hair is a hot mess. I SEE YOU doing your best and if someone wants to question "What you do all day" say "I kicked ass ONCE AGAIN at home with my family so bunk off" You shouldn't have to explain or justify yourself so don't give others the satisfaction. YOU know how hard you worked that day and you should be proud that that AND YOURSELF.
I see you! Keep killin it because I know first hand how hard it is.
i'm so tired of friendships that feel like a game. if you are my friend, be consistent.
sometimes i feel like a bad mom when i get upset with my kids but sometimes i just have really bad days.
my husband is grumpy so much of the time. trying to not let it get me down.