We all want what's best when it comes to our children and we want to do right by them by giving them the best especially when it comes to food. We all know that breastmilk is amazing and has a lot of wonderful qualities and comes with great benefits. HOWEVER. What if someone doesn't want to breastfeed? Or maybe can't? or maybe they want to breastfeed but their mental health won't allow them to focus and work hard at making breastfeeding work? The PRESSURE happens.
I remember after having my first child almost 11 years ago and the labor and delivery was super traumatic so once he was born I was out of it. I was feeling depressed because I felt like I failed my son by not having a vaginal birth, I was traumatized because I had no idea what a c section included MAINLY the fact that when I would wake up my body would be stiff and I wouldn't be able to move it. I was scared and had no idea what was going on so when it came time to breastfeed, I didn't want to. Not that I thought it was gross or weird but because I had no idea what to do or what was going on. So I asked if he could have a bottle while I got myself together. There is nothing wrong with that. My emotional well being was not good so by asking for help brought a lot of guilt.
"You must not care about your baby to try"
Who says that? of course I cared about my baby I had just had a traumatic day and a half long labor followed by being rushed into an emergency c section where I passed out because I was so medicated and woke up two hours later un able to move and I was throwing up everywhere. I was working through so much that I couldn't focus on my baby. I wanted to but at the time it wasn't what was best at that moment. So they got donor milk and I had my husband feed him by bottle so I could rest. It was amazing. I was able to rest and heal and sleep and when I finally woke I was able to spend time with him one on one without that overwhelming pressure of trying to get him to latch while puking my brains out.
So we decided to pump and bottle feed from then on out and that was my choice and for me that was what was best. But the judgement from other moms was insane! Like I didn't care enough to breastfeed him. He was still eating and after a few months of pumping my milk production dramatically decreased and it was too overwhelming so we switched him to formula and it was great and he is now a very healthy, smart 11 year old boy. But again. THE GUILT.
Stop making others feel bad because they either cannot or maybe just don't want to breastfeed. Stop making others feel like they are bad parents because breastfeeding isn't for them. Maybe they have to go back to work and pumping isn't an option. Maybe they feel more comfortable bottle feeding. Maybe they find it easier in their family to formula feed. Whatever their reason it isn't your place to judge them and make them feel bad. They want whats best for their baby too and it doesn't help when people are shoving their judgement down their throats.
I felt like a failure because of the way we chose to feed him. It worked for us and he was healthy. With my second we breastfed her for a while. Again because that was my choice at the time and what was best for us. And now with my third we breast and bottle feed AGAIN because it is what is best for us.
So back up and stop judging because "You don't think it's what they should do" and start supporting because you are doing more harm than good by judging.
it sucks feeling used. make time for people...not just when you need something from them.
i’m exhausted. i don’t want to ask for help anymore. why is it so hard for my loved ones to see me drowning and still not offer for to step up?!
i feel like my significant other is on a different journey and our paths are slowly going in different directions.