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November 23, 2019

stop letting people you find online impact how you parent

This seriously couldn't be more true. We all ALLOW the things that we read online to impact us in some way.


At least for me and I am not ashamed to say that I am on the internet googling EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME because maybe I just don't know or I want to make sure that I am doing something right. But at the end of the day google is just a GIANT ball of random information that may or may not work for you.


We all want what is best for our children, we really do. We want to make sure that they are up to standards in their school aged grades, their behavior is normal or maybe we want to make sure that OUR behavior is normal. But what we don't understand is EVERY time we type in something we are concerned about into a search engine we are pretty much basing EVERY choice on what we find and read from other people.


I never realized it until recently that was happening. I am a pretty confident parent and generally feel good about my choices when it comes to my children but suffering with postpartum depression and anxiety.... sometimes I don't always feel confident in my choices. So I went and searched about a behavior my child was having. I FELT that maybe she was acting out because I have been dealing with my own crap AND we have a new baby so time split between everyone is pretty scarce. But instead of trusting my gut instinct and maybe talking with her about how she was feeling I said NAH I am just going to look it up.


The results were insane.

Your kid probably has some sort of trauma. You traumatized your child. YOU DID THIS to your kid. How dare you. Be a better parent and ask your child what is wrong before coming onto the internet. etc.



So at this point I am thinking "WOW I am a pretty crappy mother for googling this and now I feel even worse" when in reality I LET THE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRAP. I let them TELL me what was wrong with my child and I believed it. I SAT THERE and thought oh wow something is wrong with my kid and not only that I am a bad mom.



I know that I am not a bad mom but we are all guilty of googling EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME and what do we do. We believe what we read. Then we sit there and literally QUESTION every single choice we have made as parents then it is just a downhill spiral from there.


We know what is best for our family and children. WE know what is best for ourselves. However it is SO easy to just get sucked into what OTHER people on the internet are telling us that we can really damage ourselves and how we feel about us as parents.


There is nothing wrong with looking things up I am probably going to continue to do it. HOWEVER make sure they are credible websites, talk to a healthcare provider or lean on a friend who works in the medical field if you have questions.


But STOP googling things and ALLOWING what you read to make you feel any sort of way and stop basing HOW you parent on what you read on the internet.


You are a kick ass parent you just need to trust your gut and go with it. OBVIOUSLY if something might be terribly wrong you will want to look into things but remember don't take everything you read too seriously. There is NO such thing as a perfect parent all we can do is our best.

NOBODY knows your child better than you. Remember that and remember things you read when you google them are just words don't take them too seriously because everywhere you go you will ALWAYS find someone who thinks they know more than you.


Trust your mama and papa gut go talk to someone who is credible if you feel concerned but remember don't take the "know it all parents" of google too seriously because it can be really damaging to you which WILL impact how you parent.


You've got this!


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