As a mother of three I am very familiar with putting everyone else's needs before my own. It's fine I love being a stay at home mom and making sure that everything is taken care of but at the end of the day when I have to start questioning "okay. should I shower or just go to bed because I am so exhausted" it starts to become clear that I am not prioritizing myself.
It is hard because you don't want to feel like you are selfish. WHY do we do that, why do we feel guilty or that we are acting selfish because we want to take a few minutes for ourselves each day that DOESN'T involve cooking or cleaning or wiping up puke? I think we are just so used to putting ourselves last that we don't realize that we are slowly slipping away and losing who we are as real people. Sounds kinda weird when you say that out loud right? "REAL PEOPLE" we are real people but we are losing who WE ONCE WERE because we starting that slow process of letting ourselves be last on the priority list.
So what do we do? We CAN'T just stop taking care of everything all of the time but we CAN start shifting the way things are done and WHEN they are done so everyone INCLUDING ourselves are taken care of throughout the day every day. I am used to taking a small break during the week for myself whether it is to the grocery store, a small walk or even take a longer than usual shower break. But I am noticing it just isn't enough. EVERYONE else is taken care of but what about the mama. Or the partner putting in 150% to the home and kids and they just get that %5 for themselves once a week. WE HAVE to start prioritizing ourselves we NEED to make sure that we are focusing on our own mental well being so we can be our best selves.
We need to be the best that we can be for ourselves, our families and our friends. If we aren't our best we cannot do what is best for everyone else. We are more than just chefs, taxi drivers for the home, personal shoppers. We are people who need to take better care of ourselves, shower daily for more than 2 minutes each time, we need to go get drinks and laugh with friends. Grab coffee WITHOUT children and have a few hours alone or with a friend talking about nothing. WE NEED it. Demand it. Tell the people in your lives that you need that time to better yourself. You probably have more support than you realize. Reach out to the ones you love ask for help so you can better yourself and put yourself first for once.
The house can wait. The kids will BE FINE. GO take that SUPER long bubble bath and have a glass of wine. GO spend time with friends without watching the clock. GO make sure you are taking care of YOU.
The world will NOT stop spinning if you take care of yourself FIRST for once. I promise.
Today I took the kids to the park, wrote birthday invitations, washed their bedding, cleaned their closet, we did a craft and read books together. It was more than I usually get done in a day and I felt like a "good mom" but what makes us "good moms"? Some days feel more successful than others.
My 2yo son drank benedryl from the bottle. He popped the top off with his teeth. Spent the day in the hospital. My heart almost stopped that day. I'm so grateful he is okay and have the support I do so I can process this mom guilt. Things happen. God is looking out for my son.
when you work so hard at being a good friend and feel like in return they could care less about you.