Being a mother has it's perks. But it also has it's downfalls. It's okay to admit it. It's okay to feel like you aren't doing a good job but you are. It's okay to feel like you don't want to parent some days. That you just want to be left alone and not have to take care of anything or anyone.
You don't HAVE to feel like you have it all figured out. In order to be good parents we need to be good to ourselves. When you start to question yourself tell yourself "I am a great mother" because sometimes we need to give ourselves a little pep talk.
Usually when we begin to doubt ourselves as mothers there is something going on and sometimes we need to remind ourselves we are doing an amazing job but maybe there are things going on we need to spend more time focusing on. When we start to doubt ourselves as moms usually that means we need to take a breather. Or ten.
Think about the following.
Are you taking care of yourself?
Are you? are you taking time for yourself even if it is just a few minutes each day? Are you remembering to breathe and focus on the present? Are you finding ways to de-stress and unwind even if its brief? If not you should be. Sometimes we find ourselves questioning if we are doing a good job taking care of the little ones in our lives because we aren't taking care of ourselves properly. Self care mama.
Are you taking your child's behavior personally?
It's hard. When our child rejects us and makes us feel like maybe we don't matter. We matter but sometimes our children reject us. They want to hang out with their friends. They choose the other parent. They want to be left alone. It isn't personal but sometimes when our children act a certain way it makes us question if we are doing a good job parenting. Just because our child is going through something doesn't mean we are a bad mom or that we are failing.
Are you trying to control everything and everyone?
This is hard for me. I like to be in control and MOST of the time it bites me in backside. EVERYONE in your home is their own individual. EVERYONE in your home lives in the same home. So when we try to control everyone and everything it causes arguments, frustrations and ANXIETY. So when things aren't going our way we get mega stressed out and then we start to change the way we act and feel because control isn't really working in our favor. Now when I say control I don't always mean it in a mean way I mean it in a "mom wants things to go her way and for there to be structure and order" but sometimes it can impact us in a negative way where we start doubting ourselves as moms. Breathe let things be for everyone's sake INCLUDING yours.
Are you making sure your marriage or relationship is positive in front of your family?
EVERYONE fights and argues. It's natural and normal to bicker with your partner but sometimes it will start to impact the home and you personally. If you feel like you aren't being your best self in front of your kids then you need to try to make sure that you are being more positive around them so the home dynamic is calmer which will overall make you calmer and make you feel more together.
Are you taking time for your family
Sounds weird right? are you taking time for your family..that's all you do! But stop for a second. Everything you do during the day is FOR your family.. cooking, cleaning, errands, shopping ect. Those are all amazing things you do for your family but are you taking time to spend WITH your family. Put all of what NEEDS to be done around the house and focus your energy on a craft or hobby or even watch a movie with your kids. Take the time to just relax. The house can wait. The laundry can wait. Time doesn't slow down and neither does the growth of your kiddos. I am so guilty of this. Spending all of my time cooking and cleaning and running errands that I forget the little things with my kids. Reading books, watching a movie or even playing a board game. Those are the things that can't wait. Those are the things we need to remember to do. You are a GREAT mother. A fantastic mother. You just need to breathe and remember THINGS can wait.
So repeat after me.
I am a good mother.
Take the time to rest. To calm down. To stop being so anxious and stressed. Stop trying to control every situation. LET the laundry pile up. The more we try to control EVERYTHING the more stressed out we are going to be and the more doubt we are going to have about ourselves.
You are a good mother.
i feel like i've lost my best friend and that breaks my heart.
i’m exhausted. i don’t want to ask for help anymore. why is it so hard for my loved ones to see me drowning and still not offer for to step up?!
my husband is grumpy so much of the time. trying to not let it get me down.