Oh yes. Puberty. What a crazy experience. I remember feeling things going through things and not understanding one bit of it. But I also remember feeling embarrassed about certain things and not knowing how to approach friends or family about how I am feeling or what I am going through. I would be crying, overwhelmed, weirded out about my body and so much more.
It feels foreign and even though we are kind of warned that will be going through puberty, until it hits us like a ton of bricks we have no idea what is to come. As a mother of three my oldest being eleven I am feeling nervous, excited and scared about puberty. But why. It is normal and it happens to everyone. I think it is because I have no idea how to approach it. Do I? Do I tell them all of the things that might happen during puberty? I don’t know what is going to happen or how they are going to feel. Maybe I will just leave it alone and let them come to me.
I do know that we should never be embarrassed to talk to our children about our bodies and feelings and emotions but I do know that we shouldn’t overwhelm them with all of the information.
Every kid is different and every kid experiences things differently and sometimes they are trying to figure out who they are and we need to allow it to happen on their terms. And when they discover who they are and what they are going through and want to talk to US then I feel that is when it is okay to support them however they need. They will be full of emotions and feelings and all we are here to do is sit back smile support and hug and to remind them that puberty is nothing to be scared or ashamed of that is natural.
I genuinely feel that we all have something about ourselves that we do not like. Imagine being a teenager going through puberty and they may have acne, body parts are changing, they are discovering weird feelings about a gender and on top of that they have NO idea what to do about any of it. They may feel awkward and embarrassed or confident and proud of their changes but at the end of the day they are changing and we need to support them every step of the way as it is a lot to deal with.
Puberty should never be a tainted word it should be a comfortable word and if we make our children feel comfortable with changes that may come they may feel more comfortable with sharing with us.
All we can do is support them, love them and talk with them when they need someone to talk to. The changes that are coming or have already come are normal but overwhelming enough, not having our support as parents would make it a lot harder. There are so many things that I felt when I was going through changes that I never opened up about because I was way too embarrassed.
Let them know you are always here to talk but sometimes it is okay to initiate conversations -within reason! They may feel SO overwhelmed or ashamed they may feel relieved that you mentioned something.
Help them find educational resources ahead of time Don’t make it weird HOWEVER get them pamphlets or books that may help them without being overwhelming. I started my period at a very young age and I had ZERO education about it so when it happened it was embarrassing and I was ashamed. It would have been nice to have some sort of information before it happened so I knew how to handle it.
Understand that their changes may be confusing to them but they are THEIR changes to figure out and not for YOU to figure out for them
Some kids may feel confused about certain things such as how they feel about their bodies or who they may or may not be attracted to as well as their own identity can be a lot to understand. THIS is not about you feeling good about you it is about you feeling good about you supporting THEM while they figure this all out. As parents the number one thing we are supposed to do for our children is to love and support them, so do that don’t try to figure things out for them. Don’t try to tell them how they are supposed to feel or what they should do as it all can be confusing just lend an ear and a supportive home.
Again I don’t have any teenagers going through puberty but as a mother, these are all things I wish someone in my home did for me when my body was changing. I needed to feel loved and supported, someone who listened and educated me but more importantly someone who had been my been my rock. So that is what I will do as a mother to my three, love and support, help and educate, LISTEN and have that constant open door because this is their journey through puberty and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
I wish I wasn't hurt so easily. It's hard living life with your heart on your sleeve...
when you work so hard at being a good friend and feel like in return they could care less about you.
i don't know how to deal with letting a friendship of over a decade go. i can feel the distance and i'm not going to keep trying.