I think we tend to allow ourselves to feel overwhelmed by life sometimes and by doing this we are allowing life to suffocate us and how we feel.
If we have learned one thing after making it through 2020 it is that life is basically a wild card and we can be faced with anything at any point in time. MOST of us went from a daily schedule for ourselves and our families to a WILD storm of emotions, chaos, schedules and so much more. I have really been tested this last year about what I can emotionally and physically handle that it really rocked me quite a bit. Not only that we had to shift our lives around completely with a virus, our families schedules, work or lack of work, kids being home and out of school and then learning how to become a teacher. ADD sanity and emotions on top of that and you get a whirlwind of crap thrown at you.
Don't get me wrong being able to be home with my kids has been a great opportunity and I love being able to spend good quality time but at the same time finding that balance has been SO overwhelming. Finding balance can be really difficult when you are trying to balance normal life and then a whirlwind of other new things that are unexpected and chaotic. Throughout the year we I have been tested as far as what I can handle and what I can't. If I have learned anything it's we REALLY CAN get through hard stuff if we face it head on and learn to adapt to life as it comes.
I have lost myself a lot this year. I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, I have screamed in the shower, I have gone to counseling and I have shared wonderful memories with my children.
Overall I would say balance is what I make of it. I work with my spouse to make sure we are both doing our part around the home. We take turns with dinner and household chores to help lighten the load. The kids do their schoolwork and we help when we have time. When it comes to balance? We basically go with the flow. We work. We do school work. We all contribute to picking up the house. We help EACH OTHER. We give each other breaks. We go for walks. We all help with dinners and chores and we just hope for the best. Right now balance for me is just going with the flow, not overwhelming myself. Because that is what I tend to do. I try to take on ALL of the things and try to pretend like I have it all figured out and I don't but I am trying. One day at a time. One breakdown at a time.
We love as much as we can and we take as many breaks as we can.
Remember it is okay for there to be no BALANCE. It is okay to take life ONE day at a time. Go with the flow, cry. Laugh. Breakdown. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. I am always being asked "how do you manage two businesses, two kids homeschooled, a toddler, being a wife and maintaining a home"
My response every time is:"I just take it as it comes. Face the issues as they come and do my best. I try to stay positive and humble. Forgiving and understanding. I try to remember that hopefully this is all temporary, that we are ALL in this together. That our kids are struggling just as bad as we are and we need to understand that they have BIG BIG feelings that need to be considered. We need to remember that life will ALWAYS throw curveballs this past year has just thrown a few more than normal. Be patient, loving, stay humble, love yourself and give yourself breaks. Give your family TONS of breaks and remember you cannot TAKE IT ALL ON AT ONCE".
Take the break you need. It is OK to not have it all figured out. Nobody has it figured out. Just do what you can and everything will fall into place as it is supposed to.
I feel like I can’t make a mistake as a mom without feeling guilty
the more i learn to love myself the easier it is to see the people who bring joy to my life and the people who just take from me.
I am an asshole and snap at my partner often and I try to apologize as often as I can for being such a hot mess I hope they don't start to view me differently. I do my best! Anxiety is a bitch but I am a work in progress.