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June 21, 2021

What it means to feel completely touched out as a parent and how to deal

Being a parent is hard. Really hard and one of the hardest thing about being a parent is giving 150% to you kids and just feeling completely wiped. You feel just defeated most days. Now I know that sounds terrible but it is true. We give and give and we try so hard to make everything absolutely perfect for them and sometimes it can leave us feeling exhausted and just completely touched out. I want to talk about what “touched out” means. It means exactly what it sounds like. PLEASE DO NOT HANG ON ME. I want FIVE minutes alone to sit and watch Tik Tok or sip this SUPER cold coffee without you climbing on me and pulling on me or dragging me to play toys or trucks.


I LOVE my kids. I do. They are everything to me but man sometimes I just don’t wanna do anything. I have never really been the sit down for hours and play type of parent and that may sound super selfish of me or maybe I can just blame my ADHD but I am more of a let me clean, cook, love you and throw you parties type of mom. I still want to do all of the things for you but I just cannot crawl around and be super mom all the time. When I am not taking time for myself to go to the gym, get groceries or a coffee I literally have a tiny human glued to my hip and it can feel COMPLETELY exhausting. Yes I know there are stages where they want to be held or laying directly on top of you as if you were a human couch but it is also okay to SAY “Hey I am going to have you sit over here for a minute, mom/dad needs a minute to NOT be laid on” I feel that would be a good alternative to redirecting the hands on kiddos. 


Being a stay at home mom for 13 years has really confined me to one space. Sure we have moved and changed spaces and homes during this time but every year I am here. Home. DO not get me wrong I am super grateful to have been the one to raise my kiddos but after being home with them ALL DAY it is so hard wanting anything to do with anyone after a long day of momming. We are on call 24/7, we are always there and we should be because we have children and a family and it is our commitment to them but it is also completely normal to just NOT WANT TO DO ANYTHING OR BE AROUND ANYONE. And if that makes me sound selfish for wanting a hot minute alone to run an errand, go to the gym, go for a walk or hide in my closet then so be it. Another good example of feeling touched out is when you are breastfeeding and they are clingy or clusterfeeding making it hard to get a minute alone without someone literally on top of you.


You just feel like Cher in Clueless when she literally yells “EW GET OFF, AS IF”. Yeah that is exactly how I feel when my family just wants to be all up in my personal space after a long day. LOVE YA but no thanks.


Remember it is completely normal to just not want to ANYTHING with anyone at the end of the day or during the middle of the day. Feeling touched out is completely normal and it happens to us a lot and the issue is we don’t take that time for ourselves because we feel guilty. But man if we don’t get that time to just BREATHE after tiny humans have been climbing on us ALL DAY LONG we will literally break down and lose it and we don’t want that anymore than it already happens to us.


REMEMBER you are doing great you should feel super proud of yourself. It is OKAY to take breaks and to say you know what I NEED A HOT MINUTE. They will be fine, feeling touched out and not wanting kiddos or other humans on or around you is ALSO fine.

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