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January 09, 2020

if breastfeeding isn't working out for you it is okay to STOP

Happy mama means HAPPY baby.


Yes breastfeeding is amazing. There is a long list of why it is so amazing and how it benefits mom and baby. But why isn't anyone talking about how stressful it is? How overwhelming and demanding breastfeeding really is? How sometimes it is so isolating that you want to cry because it sucks up A LARGE part of your day? Nobody is talking about it because sadly everyone judges everyone. 

What happened to "lifting each other up, supporting always and saying it's okay to do or NOT to do something." 


Well I am going to tell you that if you are stressed out about breastfeeding maybe it isn't working. Your supply isn't enough and you are causing more emotional damage to yourself by stressing out to pump or nurse...you don't have the time because your life is chaos and maybe you want to go back to work or maybe you just don't want to..I am going to tell you...YOU CAN STOP. It is okay. Nobody should be forcing you yes it is a wonderful thing but you know what else is wonderful?


Self love.


A happy mother.

A happy family.

A rested mother.

A proud mother.

Positive self image.


I could go on. Do you see what I am saying? sometimes we tend to lose who we really are because we are trying SO HARD to make something work that may never work. Are you a failure if you stop? ABSOLUTELY NOT. You have worked so hard to get as far as you have. You have pushed and pushed and pushed and you know what it is okay if today is the last day.


Your baby loves you. No matter what. Your baby wants a happy mama. A happy family. The more you stress on forcing your body to do something it doesn't want to do or maybe because you just don't want to do it anymore the more stress you put on your mental well being.


If you are done breastfeeding for whatever reason THAT IS YOURS. Then be done. Screw the haters. The judgement. Toss it out the window. Put your breast pump away if it is only causing you physical and mental stress. If you are done trying to force breastfeeding to work when it isn't then be done and let the stress of that go as well. 

I meet so many strong women who are done. And it doesn't matter their reasoning. They aren't selfish. They didn't "GIVE UP" they simply chose to end something that wasn't working for them.


They spend hours and hours expressing milk that just isn't coming and do you know what that is doing to their emotional well being? NOTHING. It is doing nothing but causing stress and depression. Mamas spend hours saying "THIS HURTS. I can't. I am depressed. I am sad. My baby won't latch we have tried EVERYTHING" and you know what that is doing to them? hurting them emotionally which eventually starts to make them feel less and less of a parent.

Mamas spend HOURS stressing themselves out over pumping when nothing is coming out JUST so they can say they tried and in return they are left sitting there feeling down. How is any of this positive in the end. At first it is because everyone is just doing their best but in the end all that is left is that horrible feeling of defeat, I have felt it. 

So stop. Think about what is best.


Free yourself of that confining feeling of being attached to a pump or a baby. Forcing something to work. You are stressing you both out.


You have to do whats best for you. You aren't a bad parent if you choose to end your breastfeeding and pumping journey you are doing what is best for you which in return will be whats best for your baby.



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