It isn't personal. I just don't have time for anyone right now.
It sucks because as badly as I want to hang out with people it just isn't in the cards.
I am tired.
REALLY really tired.
Or busy. Or tired and busy.
Sometimes people want to get together but sometimes I just say no and make an excuse and again, it isn't personal I just don't have the time. Between laundry, the house and kids. Figuring out dinner and lunches. And then trying to sneak in a shower. There just isn't time to get to know anyone new...i mean there isn't even time for me to hang out with anyone I KNOW.
I don't like avoiding people especially when I see someone approach me to want to talk, I pretend to be busy so I don't end up talking. Again it isn't personal. I just know that if we get to talking an hour, maybe two will pass and those are valuable hours that I need in order to complete my day.
It isn't that I don't find your time valuable because it is, I just have to consider if I take the time to visit and talk the time that I could be doing things at home. Most of the time that wins. It sucks but it isn't personal.
On occasion I will run into someone who is excited to see me as I am them and they say that we should get together sometime..I want to but right now the thought is so overwhelming that I say "okay, sure" but I know it isn't going to happen and it isn't personal.
We have to understand that sometimes just because our friends don't reach out to us or even friends we have been trying to get to know aren't available to visit or hang out...It doesn't mean that they don't want to. Everyone has their own crap going on and we have to take that into consideration that if we were to get offended by every single action then we would severely damage our ego and self.
We have to understand that these people in our lives WANT to see us WANT to spend time with us we need to be HONEST. We have to stop making excuses and be upfront and say "I JUST DO NOT HAVE THE TIME" and allow them to digest how they wish. Instead we pretend we will be seeing said person again in the future only to avoid them at all costs to talk about "How come we never got together"
Or sometimes I will make plans and then when the time comes I am just SO TIRED so I say "Hey, can't" [INSERT EXCUSE HERE] vs just being honest!
I am guilty of it. I will suggest visiting then it will never happen then I feel guilty about it and avoid that person at all costs. Not only are we damaging our friendships but we are making "excuses" a habit and it can turn into a BAD habit.
So be honest and speak up if you don't have time or energy and speak up if you don't plan reaching back out because you shouldn't feel guilty for not having time and you shouldn't be giving false hope to the other.
On the flip side if your busy friends [for whatever their reasonings may be] can't or don't want to hang out don't take it personally let it be and understand it just isn't personal.
i will prepare an elaborate meal for myself and make something basical for the kids. they wouldn't like what i made anyway... 🤷🏼
I don't support the idea that each others phones are off limits
Social distancing is making me realize even more how I have no friends. I hear from people only when they need me or need something from me. It's a good time to focus on family.