No. I am not pregnant. That is just my stomach.
Why would someone think it was OKAY to approach someone and say “AWE when are you due?!” ONLY FOR ME in return to say “Due? With what” THEN realize she is asking when my NON existent baby is due for me to then quickly say “I AM NOT PREGNANT THANKS THOUGH” Then I scurried away because I felt sad, SHAME, embarrassed, grossed out by myself. I shouldn’t feel that way. Why would I allow someone to make me feel that way. Yeah to that person it may have been innocent but at the same time to visually see that someone has belly fat and to confront them and ask a question that is out of line, yeah it was damaging.
I have had three children, three Caesarean sections. Three VERY hard recoveries. Had I only had one child, NO children, vaginal births or c sections....IT IS NOT OKAY TO ASK ANOTHER HUMAN when they are due. It is also NOT okay to ever comment on someone else’s body.
I never understood what made someone feel the need to approach another person and ask about their “expecting child” BASED off of the way that their stomach appeared to them? That has always been one of my biggest insecurities, my stomach. When you are pregnant your body stretches, A LOT. Even when you don’t have pregnancies your body still changes a lot throughout life, stretching, bloating, growing, hormones, the list is long. NOBODY wants to be asked about their bodies. Not ever.
I think one of the hardest things about being questioned about my body is the fact that people are still super hyper focused on bodies. I just cannot grasp why with all of the body positivity going on in the world we as humans are still taking it upon ourselves to walk up and mention someone’s body or make assumptions based off of the way that persons body looks. We all obsess over our bodies. Even if we don’t want to admit it we have at one point or continue to this day pick at ourselves and compare the way that we look to others all the time then we basically shame ourselves for not looking a specific way.
We are constantly picking at what we eat, obsessing over fat, counting calories, being ashamed or embarrassed of ourselves. But at the end of the day we are all perfect and amazing just the way we are even though I AM just as guilty as everyone else. I will always go out of my way to make myself feel bad about my choices, find tighter leggings to hold my pooch in, watch what I eat, feel sad when I am bloated. So when someone comes up to me and asks me when my baby is due, that is a LITERAL kick in the gut.
It genuinely stings. I have worked hard to bring my babies earth side. I have three babies 6 years apart in a 13 year haul, my body has endured incredible things to bring them here. I am so proud of who I AM and of my own body for being able to do what it did for the past 13 years. Hospital visits, the stretching, the aches, the pains, the bleeding and scares of a potential loss, the surgeries to get them here, weight gain and loss. THE LIST IS LONG. Even before I had kids the pooch. IT WAS THERE. I feel that we have been trained by the media to basically dislike everything about ourselves and no matter how body positive I TRY to be towards myself I still pick myself apart. My pooch. I allow the way that my body looks to shift my mindset towards myself. Oh this outfit would be cuter BUT MY STOMACH. I could wear this crop top but...MY STOMACH. I love these jeans but I just don’t like the way my stomach pushes my pooch out. That is basically my mind in a nutshell.
I need to be better about shifting my mindset and not caring so much because I KNOW what this body and stomach has done for me over the years, I don’t need to justify why my stomach looks the way it does for anyone. Almost EVERYONE does it. They pick themselves apart and FOR WHO and WHY!? We should be proud of what our bodies have done for us throughout our entire lives. Our experiences have shaped us and our bodies do not determine who WE are as people. I am proud of myself, my body and my stomach. But please, do NOT ask someone when they are due. I AM PROUD of my postpartum body <3
sometimes i feel like a bad mom when i get upset with my kids but sometimes i just have really bad days.
i wish i could get a hotel room to myself for the night just to be alone.
when friendships end and it's not your choice. it hurts like hell.