Motherhood is wonderful, scary, exciting and wild. We go through so much from the time we become pregnant through the baby years, the toddler years and into young adulthood. Even when they grow up into adults we are constantly in mom mode, worrying and putting their needs above all. THAT IS OKAY it is OKAY to love your children with your every being, but it is OKAY to love yourself too. It is okay to one day stop and say "You know what, I am an AMAZING mother but I am going to start taking care of myself. I have began to lose myself and I want to find myself once again."
So now what? how do we get back to finding 'US'. She's in there right? so how do we get back to feeling like ourselves. We can still be mom, wife, homekeeper, working parent, ect. But it is okay to also be "INSERT YOUR NAME HERE" 😉
1. Take care of yourself. Yeah this sounds blunt but I mean let's be real. We don't always put ourselves first when it comes to really anything. My kids are bathed, freshly clothed, fed well and taken care of WAY before I do the same for myself. But one thing we HAVE to remember is we need to do these things for ourselves too. EVERY DAY. Wake up, if you cannot shower right away splash water on your face. Brush you hair and teeth. EAT SOMETHING HEALTHY. It doesn't have to be whole thing just eat something that pairs well with the gallon of coffee that you are about to down. Put deodorant on, or don't I don't know your style. But put that LITTLE bit of effort into making sure you are even a TAD bit taken care of first thing, it goes a long way!
2. Set new goals for yourself. Think about things that you would like to do during the day FOR YOU. Then create a list and put a plan together for yourself so you can work on those goals. Start a new workshop, take a college course, start something you have wanted to do for yourself for a while.
3. Schedule time alone. This is CRITICAL. We tend to devote 150% to everyone else but by doing that, you are taking away from YOU. It is ok to put yourself first and have time alone. Talk with your partner, family, whoever is able to help you with your children so you can make this time. Explain how important this time is to your family and tell them how their support means a lot to you, how critical this time is for you and your well being. Take daily bubble baths, read a book OR TWO OR THREE. Start drawing, It doesn't matter as long as you are by yourself.
4. Connect with people in your life. Life gets crazy busy and when that happens we tend to disconnect from our friends and peers. Reconnect with the people in your life, a healthy friendship is important when it comes to feeling like yourself. Coffee, zoom chat, walk and talk, whatever you can do to connect with your friends.
5. Ask for help. This is really hard because most of us as parents tend to go in with a CAN DO ATTITUDE all the TIME and when we have this attitude we think we can do everything by ourselves. BUT BY DOING THIS we are self destructing and causing more anxiety. SO ASK FOR THE HELP. IT IS OKAY. There is NOTHING wrong with saying "hey I NEED A BREAK can you help me with this that or this". Take the break, ask for help.
6. Stop comparing. We are ALL DOING OUR BEST in life. When we sit and compare ourselves to other parents and adults we are only doing damage to our own self image. Take your accomplishments and be proud, don't compare what you have or don't have to others because all that you have should be praised. I feel that sometimes when I feel lost in who I am I will compare myself to someone else my age then I feel down because maybe I am not at that level in life. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REDISCOVER ME if I spend all of my time comparing myself to others.
Knock that crap off.
Love yourself friends. YOU ARE STILL YOU. You just have a little spice now. Maybe some milk puke on your shoulder. But you are still you. Take the time to rediscover yourself and enjoy WHO YOU ARE NOW and all that you have accomplished NOW by revisiting who you used to be as well. Blend it all up and you have one bad ass mama.
i am ready for things to move forward in my life. i feel like things are stagnant.i need change
I wish the holidays could be more about spending time with the people we love than feeling like we have to put on a show. There's always so much pressure.
i feel very unappreciated in my home. taken for granted. nobody gives a shit and it sucks.