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October 27, 2019

helping your teen feel good about themselves

Being a teen is hard. I remember not knowing how I was supposed to feel or what I was supposed to do when I was a teenager. I was either too busy trying to fit in or I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be, still trying to figure that out. But as a teenager we have ZERO idea on what we are doing all we do know is we want support and love. So how do we give that to the teens in our lives? We don't want to change them, we don't want to improve them. WE love them for who they are and even if they are constantly changing we have to help them be the best versions of themselves in order for them to do well in life. We need to help them find confidence in who they are or they won't feel good about themselves. 


The biggest thing that I can suggest is avoid social comparison. This is HUGE in my opinion. WE are constantly comparing who we are to everyone else and if I remember correctly it started in middle school and to be honest, it hasn't gone away. We are too busy thinking "what if I had their body, their smarts, their hair" and so on. We have to help our kids understand that by comparing ourselves to everyone else isn't going to get us anywhere that it is okay to be WHO WE ARE. But I remember being a teen and someone saying that to me and I would think "okay yeah sure" and then the next day I was back to it. All we can do is help them understand that we are all different and that is okay, fitting in isn't what is important but being true to who YOU are is what is. Social media is horrible when it comes to this but all we can do is remind our teens that nothing on the internet is real.


Help them focus on things they are good at. This is HUGE when it comes to making our kids feel confident in themselves. I have never been a huge believer in forcing kids to do sports or take up hobbies just because I want them to. How are we supporting them and their interests by forcing them to play an instrument because we played it 20 years ago. We aren't. Allow them to figure it out on their own and support the heck out of them because it is already tough being a teenager but if they don't feel confident in themselves and feel that they aren't good at anything? that is setting them up for feeling down. Lift them up and tell them to find new things to do and when they find those things be their biggest cheerleader, help them build that confidence.


Let them be who they want to be. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. Stop forcing them to be who YOU want them to be and let them be who THEY want to be. If what they are wearing makes them happy cool. If they are interested in different types of people ALSO COOL. If they want to color their hair, not play sports, play an instrument or be in a musical if it makes them feel confident SUPPORT THEM.


Because your teen wants your support and if they don't have that support then they don't feel confident. Sure they have their friends but when it comes down to it, they care a lot about how their parents view them. Build them up, lift them up and help them find their self confidence.






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