WHAT is a Doula?
A Doula is a certified and trained support person. We help during pregnancy, labor, delivery and even postpartum! We are ONLY here for support we are never a replacement UNLESS you have nobody and need someone then we step in. But we are ultimately here for support, guidance, encouragement, education if you need it and companionship.
What does a Doula DO?
We spend hours and even days helping you gain the knowledge and confidence to have the most amazing birth possible. NOW. Sometimes birth just doesn't go our way and that is OKAY. But the important thing a Doula does is help you feel empowered and educated throughout the entire journey so when you do give birth, REGARDLESS of how it went. You felt great about it. We offer knowledge, phone support, education, physical support as far as massage goes, lactation support, help during the postpartum period and so much more. Our ULTIMATE goal is to make sure you feel amazing and educated once your baby is born and beyond.
Will I need a Doula if I have a doctor?
Absolutely. A doctor or a midwife is the primary provider to help you have your baby. A doula is just a bonus support person to help you before, during and after. A doula offers ZERO medical support. That is not our job. We know our job and place and it is to help you emotionally and sometimes even physically if need be.
What are the advantages of having a Doula during labor and beyond?
Oh there are SO many benefits! I always go in with the "do what you have to do for you" mindset. Having a doula doesn't mean you plan on having a one or the other type of birth. If you want meds. Get the meds. If you want to bottle feed. Bottle feed. If you want to labor at home as long as you can and go in and have your baby on all fours without pain meds, let's go for it. If you want a scheduled c section from the beginning and need a ton of support let me help you however I can!
The main advantage of having a Doula is to have that extra support person to help you gain knowledge and educate yourself so you are prepared for literally any situation that can happen before and after you give birth. One of the biggest advantages to having a birth support person is your chances of NEEDING a cesarean section drops by 50% and labor length drops by 25%. That is amazing! It has been proven time and time again that having positive and supportive support people eases anxiety and makes the birthing person feel more relaxed even when in painful situations.
What about the partner?
The role of a Doula is to help the partner and birthing person feel connected, empowered and to help them support each other while you support them. Consider it one big happy support group. Sometimes there just isn't a partner and that is okay. It happens. We help however we can. I always help the partner feel connected to the birthing person. It is REALLY hard to know what to do when you aren't the one physically experiencing everything. Communication, education, asking them "HOW can I help YOU" is the biggest thing I help the partner. This is about them. If you are a support person remember that, ASK them. This helps the partner feel emotionally connected and supportive.
How do I find the right Doula for me and my family?
1. What kind of training do you have? Are you certified and have you attended many births?
2. Why did you become a doula?
3. Do you have a backup doula, do you have any other births around the time that my child could be born?
4. How do you support a laboring person and how do you support their partner?
5. Do you understand that our views and wants/needs could change at any moment and are you going to respect those choices?
6. Do you have experience with lactation, latch and other postpartum support?
After you meet with your potential doula ask yourself: Did you connect with them? How did you feel the conversation was? Is this someone you feel comfortable allowing into your home to labor at home? Did you feel safe around this person? Does this person seem to have similar values as you?
We are here for support and if you change your mind 1000 times during labor, that is your choice and we are to support you to the FULLEST. Ask questions about availability, fees, training is really important, ect. Ask ask ask.
Here are some frequently asked questions regarding labor/delivery and postpartum
What if I don't want to breastfeed?
Then don't breastfeed. YOUR body, YOUR baby, YOUR choices. You have to do what is absolutely best for you. NEVER let anyone make you feel bad about your choices especially when it comes to you and your child. Be completely honest from the get go with your doula and provider and then when your baby is born be specific and open up about what you want.
How can a postpartum Doula help me after giving birth?
Postpartum doulas provide support while you are healing. It can be lactation support, help moving around, light housework, night feeds and changes, advocacy, self care and support, support with anxiety and depression, emotional support and more. You can use the same doula that you used during your labor and delivery if they are certified and have experience OR you can look for postpartum support in your area.
What if I don't want ANYONE in the room?
BE HONEST. Honesty is key it sucks, but it is VERY important especially when it comes to having a child. If you don't want anyone in the room that is your choice but you have to voice that to people. If you don't want ANY visitors TELL THEM. It is okay and if someone is going to be upset with you that is on them, this is your birth and your experience.
What is the golden hour after birth?
It is a VERY important bonding time for you and your baby. Not only the first hour but the first 24 hours is just tiring, busy, emotional and you really need that time to spend with your baby. Once you have your baby [pending everything is okay and baby or you don't need extra help] baby will be placed RIGHT on you where you will start to connect. You will get skin to skin which is VERY important as they need to smell you, it helps with their blood temp and more. You will work on latch if you choose to breastfeed and you will also deliver the placenta right after they are born. It is okay not to have any visitors and take the time to spend with your new baby and your partner.
How will I know when I am in labor?
This CAN be tricky but I always tell people just to trust their gut. Sometimes you will go in knowing THIS IS IT and it isn't but even if it isn't and you go in that is okay! You have to trust your body and I would rather be wrong instead of waiting because I just don't know if it is really time and I don't want to be wrong and then giving birth in a car instead. I always like the 5-1-1 rule. Five minutes apart, ONE minute long for ONE hour. You can even do 3-1-1 but remember labor can be different for everyone and FEEL different for everyone.
Labor at home for a while then head in, or go in right away. Trust your instinct. Labor can last days or hours. You can find more articles on labor and delivery in the blog tab and your doula should ALSO have that information to share with you.
The important thing to remember whether you are the one having a baby, wanting to have a baby or a support person. Support is everything, encouragement, distraction, love and education all goes hand in hand. You want to look back later down the road and say "yeah i felt great about my labor and birth" Even if things changed or you maybe didn't have the birth you had hoped for you still felt educated and empowered. Even if you don't have a doula or support person educate yourself, do your own research and discover what YOU want.
Remember there are DIFFERENT types of Doulas. Labor and birth, Postpartum, Childbirth educators, Lactation counselors. Find what you need and make sure you connect.
If you have any questions regarding birth workers or labor, delivery or postpartum please feel free to comment or head over to the forum and create a thread!
Sometimes I wish I could have enjoyed myself before marriage. I love my partner but is it wrong that I feel like I missed out?
I never get a break because of no one wanting to watch my special needs daughter (they will watch my other two but nobody will take her) and I feel like I am nearing my breaking point. I just want an hour with my husband without the spawns but I feel like that will never happen so I cry a lot
it's heartbreaking when you can feel yourself getting pushed out of someone's life.