That sounds horrible right. Feeling complete relief when the kids are at school and gone all or most of the day, is this a normal feeling? Oh it is and you shouldn’t feel ashamed or beat yourself up over feeling that way. Being a parent is extremely hard and it can be a lot when it is constantly go go go and you feel like you never get a break. Then monday morning comes and although the morning is nuts because everyone is fighting over their socks not fitting properly, or someone got the last capri sun and the other HAS to settle for a juice box...even though it is complete chaos, they get to go to school ...for the entire day. 7 WHOLE hours at school.
I used to feel guilty when I would feel that sense of relief as they would walk up to school because it would instantly make me feel like a bad mother. Like I should be upset that they are gone all day and don’t get me wrong I love and miss my children when they are gone however, we need that break. At the time that is what I didn’t understand was just because you feel relief doesn’t mean you don’t love your children, we NEED that break to collect ourselves. We need that break to better ourselves take a shower, go for a walk, get a coffee and just SIT without the constant “MOM MOM MOM’S” and everyone fighting and screaming in our ears. We need that break during the day to focus on what WE need to do for us. It can be working all day, going to school, DOING NOTHING, spending the day cleaning the home and catching up on housework or it can simply be just sitting on the couch with our coffee watching hulu for a few hours.
Whatever it may be that you need to do while your kids are in school THAT is your time to focus on what you can do to better you.
During the time that they are gone I am able to clean the house, get my workout in, take a shower, catch up on work or editing. Sure I have the baby however when she is napping I have some quiet ME time that I crave and need in order to function like a somewhat normal human. Because the second the get home it is chaos and I love them so much but it can be a lot and it can be super overwhelming sometimes with homework, snacks, dinner, bathtime ect. NOT to mention the fighting that they LOVE doing for some strange reason. All of that can really be a lot on you as parents even though it’s from 4pm-8pm that is a lot of activity and fighting and crying and cleaning in such a short amount of time. I have always been told “Oh just have your alone time when they go to bed” HA! I cannot even stay up after 8pm anymore due to how exhausted I am.
I use the time during the day to refresh and just sit and get all of the things I need to get done because the second they get home we have to put on our big kid pants and be OUR BEST for them. They aren’t doing anything wrong they are kids however when you and your partner or even if it is just you are doing it every single day while incorporating work in there, you need and deserve that quiet time.
So stop feeling so guilty for feeling that relieving calm feeling during the day. You don’t love your children any differently by feeling relief, you still love them but by getting that break during the day while they are at school. You are taking care of yourself during the day but letting that anxious overwhelming feeling go for just a brief amount of time, so when they get home you are at your best, they need you at your best.
So quit with the self shame. You love them and they love you and in all reality all they want is for YOU to be the best version of yourself.
i need help! i cannot do it all on my own and still be pleasant and bubbly.
i will prepare an elaborate meal for myself and make something basical for the kids. they wouldn't like what i made anyway... 🤷🏼
It sucks being a single parent of child with a disorder, specifically for me, ODD. I am regretting being a parent. And that is a sucky feeling.