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October 03, 2019

Just because you can do it all, doesn't mean you should

Sometimes I feel like I have it all figured out and that I am on top of the world in the parenting department. Sometimes I feel like I am super organized and collected and can kick each days butt full force however, most days I feel completely wiped out and exhausted. Actually I feel exhausted most days. It is hard to get out of the mindset that you have to do everything all at once or the world may end. I feel like I am literally drowning in laundry and chores..



The world will not end if everything isn’t done right this second. This is a concept that i am pretty sure will haunt me every day “It needs to be done or I am a failure or someone may be disappointed in me and my role as a stay at home parent”. 


Lately life has been a show on its own especially since having our third in July, things are absolutely crazy. Before having my third I was super organized and had plenty of time to get everything done on a schedule. I was up by 5 am the house was clean, coffee brewing and friends on Tv and of course the couch was waiting for me to sit down and relax. I had a system that included having every chore done by 6 am and me sitting down relaxing before the house woke up and I was able to sit and breathe for a few minutes. But once I fell pregnant with my third, all of that changed. It was really hard because normally, I was constantly moving and getting things done in a timely matter on top of taking care of my personal and mental well being.


But then everything started spiraling and I felt like I was falling and failing my family. I was ill all the time, I couldn’t find the drive to do anything productive and I spent very little time with my kids. I was failing.



It took months before the all day sickness went away and I started feeling less like a zombie and more like a real life person. Even then my drive to get things done slowed dramatically. I was still failing.

Or was I.



I think we have such high expectations of ourselves as parents thinking that we must be able to do it all and be happy go lucky all of the time. That we must have the house spotless, perfect healthy meals every night, showered and makeup done on top of spending hours of quality time with the kids all before bed time every day. Talk about extremely unrealistic! We are only human, our bodies are only made to handle so much before we start to crumble and start to fail. So why do we do it. Why do we push ourselves to that limit every day is it to prove a point to someone? Is it to look good? Or is it because you simply feel that you must do all of these things every single day to prove to someone or to yourself that you are worth being home every day.



You are going to have to just settle for “Doing the best that I can” because if we attempt to max ourselves out to be better than that, we will drive ourselves into the ground. Stop comparing yourself to those on facebook because most of the time all of that is fake. Nobody is that perfect. Nobody is perfect at all. Everyone struggles and everyone beats themselves up and it has to stop.


Mental health is one of the most important things that we as humans have, so why are we damaging our mental health every day?  We simply cannot do it all and if we do, it will always come at a price.



Skip out on the laundry for the day. It is okay if the dishwasher isn’t emptied when you go to bed. It is okay if you wake up have your coffee, get the kids to school and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Stop being so hard on yourself and just accept that although you CAN do it all, that you shouldn’t need to everyday.



Take a breather because even if you got it all done today, the show will go on again tomorrow, so what is the point of stressing yourself out. 



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