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October 08, 2019

our children need to learn that it is okay to demand more for themselves

When we are young we have this vision of what we think our life might be when we grow up. We don’t have all of the details because we are so young we don’t even know what the real world is really like as an adult. But we dream and we have these expectations of what we want and as we get older those visions change with every choice that we make or with every path we cross. Do you remember sitting in class and the teacher asks us what we want to be when we grow up and everyone raises their hand and most say the same thing. A doctor. A teacher. The president. A firefighter or policeman. All of these types of goals are very admirable but they are specific, don’t get me wrong they are all ideal, positive and fantastic hopes. However, how come nobody told us that when we are asked what we want to be when we grow up that it is okay to say things like successful, happy, proud or even determined.


How come nobody told us instead of focusing on one specific thing that we could be that we could really be anything we wanted and then some, that we should grow up always demanding more for ourselves.


I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I was younger I think it is such an offhand question that adults think is fun to ask children.. I think we paint this portrait of “WHO” we should be versus “HOW” we should be, especially at a young age because that is all we know. As adults we could be the most successful people in the world but at the end of the day the biggest question that we should ask ourselves is “Am I happy”. How come nobody asks children “Are you happy”. I don’t remember anyone ever asking me if I was happy it was always just an assumption that I was because I was a child, then I got older and just assumed that when I grew up I was supposed to be one specific thing. Life is such a roller coaster ride nothing is ever the same and we are constantly growing and changing.


Our life experiences do not determine who we are as individuals but they guide us on a path of becoming MORE. 



Instead of focusing so much on helping our children understand that they can be anyone they want, which they can. Let’s focus on helping our children understand that they can FEEL however they want. Tell them they can grow up and be a doctor and save lives and make a difference but along the way demand more for themselves even as a child. If they grow up demanding more for themselves and knowing their self worth they will grow up to be these amazing people doing amazing things but also being happy. Teach them to grow up to make a difference but also to make a difference within themselves. 


Tell them that they should never settle for what is comfortable and that they need to constantly know their self worth no matter the cost. I feel we tend to feel threatened because there is always so much riding on our choices that we sit back and hide who we really are inside. How is that growing up happy.



If I could go back and find myself as a young child I would say “Grow up and be amazing, be who you want to be but NEVER settle. Never settle for who you might be and always demand more for yourself when it comes to friends who aren’t good to you. Jobs who aren’t fair to you. Relationships that are fake to you. Demand more for yourself because you are worth it. Your happiness is worth it”.



If you could go back and have ten minutes with yourself as A young child and tell yourself anything what would it be? What advice would you give? I think if I could I would tell every child out there to be whoever you want to be but never hide in the shadows of being happy. That you should demand the happiness along the way to your successes and to never ever settle because that is what you have always been taught. Instead of what do you want to be when you grow up, ask your children, HOW do you want to feel when you grow up. Determined, successful, happy, accomplished, secure, positive. Let’s focus on those things as well as becoming someone great.



Step out of the shadows and set that example for your children, demand more for yourself and teach them to do the same. The world needs great successful people doing great amazing things to help others but the world also needs HAPPY people and that could change starting with you. Today. Choose to be happy.  


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