Life is interesting isn't it. We experience things that have an impact on us either in that moment or later down the road and it can be good or bad but either way it will impact us. Most of the time we experience things and we choose to hold onto those things for a long time holding a grudge or maybe we just experienced something really bad and simply cannot move forward. Either way, how we choose to respond and act will forever impact us and our choices. So how do we move forward so we can be happier people? Positive people..for ourselves and for our friends and family. We don't want to be sad, depressed, overwhelmed so what do we do? We grow. We make positive choices every single day that will help us change in a positive way and grow from things that may or may not be healthy.
1. We need to make peace with our past -
This is REALLY hard because I have experienced a lot of things in my life that have made me bitter in some sort of way. A lot of things from my childhood that I hold onto. Anger, Sadness, Shame. But I have noticed throughout the years it gets easier because I choose to make peace with it, not FORGIVE or FORGET just make peace. Choose to leave that part of the past in the past and move forward and RISE ABOVE. The more we allow the past to bother us the more we will allow it to interfere with our future and that is a problem.
2. We need to stop letting how other people VIEW us impact who we choose to be -
Again this doesn't help because social media can be really toxic. We choose to allow people to make us feel a certain way. If we are accomplished or not. If we have money or not. Who we have become, who we chose to BE. We allow people to impact us and that has a huge impact on how we VIEW ourselves. Stop caring so much what other people think because everyone is dealing with their own crap and when others choose to act out, that is their own stuff they need to sort through. HOW someone treats you is only in reflection to WHO THEY ARE.
3. Be honest and always tell the truth -
When we get caught up in a web of lies we aren't only hurting those around us but we are hurting ourselves. I feel like it is easier to just pretend or lie or IGNORE things instead of tackling them head on. When we allow ourselves to lie to protect ourselves or someone else that eventually just eats us alive. We will begin to let those feelings impact how we feel and who we are. If you need to be honest about something, be honest. The person on the other end will choose to respond a certain way and how they choose to respond is on them. HOWEVER, how you choose to relay the truth is on you.
4. Admit when you are wrong -
This is hard because I am very stubborn and sometimes hard headed but I feel like when I don't allow myself to take fault I am hurting others by not being true when I do something wrong. It can be something simple, words said, ect. If you mess up OWN up. This will keep you positive and less bitter. Because if you are always playing the blame game and never owning up you will start to notice people drop off, they won't want to put in the effort with you.
5. Stop comparing yourself to other people -
I do this. You do this. EVERYONE does this. We see someone on Facebook or Instagram just living it up. So what do we do. We get salty and start to compare. OR we see someone looking good, succeeding in their careers, spending time with other people. Whatever it may be we see these things and we INSTANTLY get inside of our own heads and start to compare. We are all unique individuals who have DIFFERENT things to offer the world, if we were all the same the world wouldn't be as unique. Be happy with who you are. If you aren't, change yourself for the better. Work hard to gain success but always be there for those in your life regardless of your feelings about it and stop comparing.
6. Learn that it is okay to say no. -
I am guilty of this myself. I get caught up in emotions and refuse to say no but by saying yes I am being kind right? Well yes but you also need to take your own situations and health into consideration. If you feel that this might make you feel sad, used, betrayed, unhappy ect then it probably isn't healthy to say yes. If it is a nice thing to do that won't be too much of a bother then say yes. ALWAYS trust your gut if it just doesn't feel right, be honest. IT IS OK TO SAY NO. Say that out loud 5 times. Saying no is healthy and sets boundaries and boundaries are very important.
7. NEVER let anyone tell you that your dreams are TOO big -
I HAVE HEARD THIS and let me tell you it is very discouraging to hear. I am constantly doing things to better myself, my career, my family and there is always someone who has to put me down in some way. "oh wow that seems like a reach huh?" or "oh you are still going to do that with your life but you have kids" ect. YES and it is a reach and I am going to work my butt off to get there and YES I have kids and a family and they are a huge part of why I work so hard. If someone challenges you and your dreams, PUSH BACK. GO for it. Also you don't need people like that in your life they can kick rocks.
8. Stand up for what you believe in -
This is really tough for me because I always find myself clashing with something out there. I am not out SEEKING arguments or ways to put something down because I am not that type of person however, I will stand up for what is right. I believe in equality, love, respect, that we treat each other with kindness, that we ALL have a place in this world to do good. I honestly believe that if someone doesn't believe in those things then they aren't right for me. You have your thoughts I have mine but if you DON'T stand up for what you believe in or what is right then you aren't allowing yourself to be true and honest to yourself and to others.
If you have negative people in your life who aren't choosing to be kind and good and they are judgmental...why keep them around? The world needs less of that. Stand up for what is right even if you might clash with someone you love. You will be happier.
9. Stop being so hard on yourself -
As a mother and wife I am CONSTANTLY being hard on myself. I always feel like I could have done something better or I could have reacted a different way. Look, none of us are perfect we are all trying to do our best in this crazy world of CRAZY. Take it day by day and learn and grow from your wrongs. Most days I feel like I could have put more time into crafts with my kids but I chose to do homework instead then I am hard on myself feeling like I let them down. They will be okay, you can ONLY DO SO MUCH. Be kind and loving and good for your family but also be kind and loving and good to yourself too.
10. Tend to your mental health -
If you really are fine and it is whatever then I am SO glad to hear that however, everyone has stuff going on that either IS impacting them or HAS the ability to impact them in some way. Take care of yourself and talk to people, open up about how you feel. There is NOTHING wrong with talking about your emotions I don't care WHO you are, get it out there. Find a safe person and do right by yourself. You cannot be your best self or the best parent/partner if you don't make sure you are okay mentally.
Take care of yourself friends, do right by yourself because your happiness is worth it. We all deserve to be happy but it starts with making little changes for the better.
i feel heartbroken when i think of who i can reach out to when i'm deeply struggling. no one.
i always tell him to get off me, it's hot and im sweaty and gross 😅💦
my kids have worn out my mom name...thinking of changing it to something else lol
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Krysta09/28/20 at 09:38PM PST
I struggle the most with #1 :( and have for 10+ years. Slowly getting better, but there are times when I’m reminded of what happens and the wounds feel fresh
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